10 Compassionate Ways to Support a Grieving Child
When a child experiences bereavement, it’s one of life’s toughest challenges—for them and for the adults who love them. Children don’t always express grief as adults do, and understanding how to support them through loss can feel overwhelming. Whether you’re a parent, caregiver, educator, or friend, knowing respectful and effective ways to help makes a world of difference.
Drawing on guidance from Archie’s Child Bereavement Service, which offers tailored bereavement support for children free of charge in Grampian, Tayside, the Highlands and Orkney, here are 10 ways to support a child dealing with bereavement with patience and compassion.
1. Create a Safe Space for Open Conversation
One of the most meaningful ways to support a child dealing with bereavement is by encouraging open and honest dialogue. Children often need multiple opportunities to talk about their feelings—not just once. Let them ask questions, share memories, or express fears. Be truthful in age-appropriate language rather than shielding them from the reality of the loss.
2. Understand Their Grief Changes Over Time
Grief isn’t linear. A child may seem unbothered one day and deeply affected the next. Young children often revisit the reality of loss repeatedly, while older children may internalise feelings or express them in behaviour rather than words. Recognise that their reactions will evolve and may resurface weeks or months later. As a child’s understanding develops, their response to the bereavement will change. New questions, worries or concerns can emerge
3. Maintain Routines to Foster Stability
Loss can make the world feel unpredictable. Keeping daily routines—meals, bedtime, school—provides a sense of security that helps children cope. Even simple rituals like reading a bedtime story or having a favourite breakfast can remind them life still holds comforting constants.
4. Use Books and Resources as Conversation Tools
Books and guided activity materials can be powerful in helping children understand loss. Archie’s Chi
ld Bereavement Service offers a book gifting service with specialist titles selected to help children explore death, feelings, and memories, appropriate to their age and where they are in their grief journey. Books can open conversations that might otherwise be hard to start.
5. Encourage Age-Appropriate Expression
Children express grief in different ways depending on their developmental stage. Toddlers might become clingy; school-aged children may act out feelings through play. Encourage creative expression through drawing, writing, storytelling, or memory boxes filled with photos and treasured items. These activities help children process complex emotions tangibly.
6. Acknowledge and Validate Feelings
Grief brings a wide range of emotions—including sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion. Let a child know that whatever they’re feeling is okay. Avoid minimising their feelings or telling them to “be strong.” Validation builds trust and reinforces that emotional honesty is safe.
7. Include Rituals and Memory Making
Rituals can help children honour their relationship with the person who died. Lighting a candle on birthdays, planting flowers, or creating a memory box can be deeply meaningful. Archie’s Child Bereavement Service emphasises the healing potential in remembering together and helping children find personal ways to say goodbye.
8. Support Adults So They Can Support the Child
Children are shaped by the emotional world around them. When adults are overwhelmed or grieving themselves, it can be difficult to respond to a child’s needs. Seek support yourself so you’re emotionally present—whether from friends, family, or professional services like bereavement helplines. It’s not a sign of weakness, but of strength.
9. Connect with Peer Support and Activity Days
Isolation can compound grief. Archie’s Child Bereavement Service runs activity days where bereaved children can connect with peers who have also experienced loss through structured activities. These shared experiences help children feel understood and less alone in their grief.
10. Know When to Seek Additional Help
Sometimes professional support is necessary. If a child shows prolonged distress, severe behavioural changes, or trauma related to the circumstances of the death, seeking tailored help—including from services trained in supporting bereaved children—can be incredibly beneficial. Through consulting with those involved and reflecting on individual sessions with a child, a course of action is agreed on how to best support the child
Bereavement Support for Children: A Lifeline
About 1 in 3 bereaved children will be signposted to a specialist agency for support, whether its advice to parents or professionals on how to support a bereaved child, specialist books and other resources, or bespoke direct support to the child. ARCHIES child bereavement services provide these services free of charge for children and young people across Grampian, Tayside and Highlands
For more information, head to Archie’s Child Bereavement Service – Archie
